Mediation involving children can feel emotionally charged and uncertain for any parent. At Crowther Mediation, we understand how sensitive this time can be and we are here to offer guidance with empathy and professionalism. Our mediators are highly trained in Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM) – a specialised approach that puts the child’s voice at the centre, without placing the weight of decision-making on their shoulders.
What is Child Inclusive Mediation?
Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM) is a voluntary process that allows children to have a safe and confidential space to share how they feel about the changes happening in their family.
Unlike standard family mediation, which involves only the adults, child inclusive mediation includes a separate session with a specially trained mediator who speaks directly with the child. This isn’t about placing blame or choosing sides – it’s about making sure their voice is heard in decisions that affect their lives.
What Questions Does a Mediator Ask a Child?
Mediators carefully frame questions to ensure children feel heard, not judged or burdened. At Crowther Mediation, we approach child-inclusive sessions with deep care, clarity, and neutrality. Everything the child says remains confidential unless they permit us to share their views—or if there’s a concern for their safety.
Here are examples of typical child mediation questions we might ask:
- “Can you tell me about a normal day in each of your homes?”
- “Is there anything you wish could be different?”
- “What do you enjoy doing with Mum? And with Dad?”
- “Is there anything you’d like your parents to know, but don’t feel able to tell them directly?”
- “How do you feel about the idea of spending time in two homes?”
These questions are always open-ended and non-directive, giving the child the freedom to express their thoughts, worries, and preferences.
What Not to Say in Child Custody Mediation
For Mediators:
There are clear boundaries. A child will never be asked:
- “Which parent do you want to live with?”
- “Who do you love more?”
- “Whose house is better?”
These types of questions place unfair pressure on the child and go against the principles of safe, child-centred mediation.
For Parents:
Parents are not present during the child’s session. It’s important not to coach or pressure your child before their mediation. Avoid saying things like:
- “Tell the mediator you want to stay with me.”
- “Don’t say anything bad about me.”
- “Make sure you mention how your dad/mum made you feel.”
Instead, let your child know it’s okay to be honest and that the session is for them—not for either parent.
How to Prepare Your Child for Mediation
Honesty is key. While you shouldn’t overwhelm your child with details, giving them a clear and age-appropriate explanation helps.
Tips for preparing your child:
- Reassure them it’s okay to share their feelings
- Explain that the mediator is neutral and there to listen
- Let them know they don’t have to answer any questions they’re uncomfortable with
- Encourage them to speak freely without worrying about hurting anyone’s feelings
Children often appreciate the chance to speak openly when they feel safe and respected.
When Is Child Inclusive Mediation Appropriate?
Child-inclusive mediation is usually recommended when:
- Parents are separating or divorcing
- There is disagreement over living arrangements or contact schedules
- The child is showing signs of distress or confusion about changes in the family
- Both parents agree to involve the child, and the child consents
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Frequently Asked Questions
Can a child refuse to participate in mediation?
Yes. Participation is entirely voluntary. A child cannot and should not be forced to attend.
Will the court use the information provided by the child?
Typically, no. Mediation is confidential. However, in rare cases where safeguarding is involved, information may need to be shared.
Is the child interviewed alone?
Yes, the mediator meets the child in a private session without the parents present.
How long does child inclusive meditation take?
A child-inclusive session usually lasts around 30–45 minutes, depending on the child’s age and comfort level.
How much does child inclusive mediation cost?
Costs vary. Please refer to our mediation costs page, or contact us directly for a tailored quote.
How do you arrange child mediation?
You can start by booking a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) or calling our team to discuss your options.
Speak to a Professional Child Mediator
At Crowther Mediation, we offer a supportive, confidential, and child-focused space for your family to move forward. Our professional mediators are fully accredited in Child Inclusive Mediation and work to the highest standards, ensuring your child’s voice is acknowledged with care.
- Reduce family conflict
- Prioritise your child’s wellbeing
- Build sustainable parenting plans
Choose Crowther. Choose calm, child-focused resolution.
